**Click here for the Updated Portfolio version!**
 |
| Close-up photo of the vines of Gehenna's most successful, sole, vineyard. Found on Max Pixel. |
So I guess as we head towards the vine fields I should talk about the origin of this here establishment! Now the original inspiration came from my encounter with my first partner, Adam, at the beginning of time but my vision for this place never came to fruition until my meeting with my late partner Noah. Shortly after the destructive flood waters receded, courtesy of Dad, I was able to join in a partnership with Noah on Earth and we created the first vineyard from which he enjoyed the same fruit as Adam did in the garden! Despite being a hardy old geezer Noah couldn't quite handle his liquor if you know what I mean and may have potentially, possibly, gotten in trouble for his drunkenness but I can assure you that I was long gone by that time for I knew I had to begin a vineyard like that one right here at my own home to share with...well, not you obviously but you know, someone better. And that's how it all started my friend. That's how our very own Gehenna, or Hell if you prefer, got the inspiration for its first vineyard.
*Demon materializes next to Lucifer and a hushed conversation ensues*
*Ahem* Well folks my kingly duties call me elsewhere at the present moment but do not fear as the tour will continue! While I'm sad I wasn't able to finish it with you, I'll have Prince Asmodeus complete the tour in my absence. While he's not as witty, handsome, or comical as me I'm sure he will do the job nicely. I'm sure I'll be seeing you all....around.
*Lucifer grins, snaps his fingers, and disappears*
Author's Note
This story receives its inspiration from the stories from the Noah Unit from the biblical selection of story options. In an account of the story of Noah and the Ark the author mentions that God sent the flood waters through a place called Gehenna, also known as Hell, in order to scald sinners as well as drown them. At the end of the flood, shortly after Noah and his family exit the ark, the author mentions that Noah plans a vineyard with a disguised Satan and drinks of the wine and becomes drunken. This story takes Lucifer's point of view regarding the business of creating a vineyard. It is meant to be somewhat of a comedy as this story makes light of a serious situation in which Noah found himself after unwittingly partnering up with Satan.
Bibliography
The Legends of the Jews by Louis Ginzberg
Hey Jacob!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading this story; it really was amusing. I had never heard of Gehenna before! I love the idea of a vineyard in Hell. Your storytelling structure is also great. It’s funny to get first-person dialogue from Lucifer the entire time. What if you put that last line in italics like you did with the other action tag, just so it’s more apparent that it’s not part of the dialogue? I would also like to know more about Prince Asmodeus because I’m not familiar with him. Is he just another demon, or does he have an important story too? It would be helpful you alluded to that.
Thanks for writing such an entertaining story! Keep it up!
Hey Jacob,
ReplyDeleteI like how you made this story into a comedy. Death and Hell can be a very serious subject but when I read this it made me smile. I don't think I have ever read a story where Lucifer was a comedian and it was a nice twist to the story. I like how you also added Noah into it and made light of his situation as well.
Hello Jacob! I really enjoyed reading your story. I like the way you made the story in to a more comical read, it really pulled me into the reading. Also I liked the little details of saying whats happening like when the demon materialized next to Lucifer. This detail really helped to make me feel like I was in the story. Overall the story was great, keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Jacob! This is Prince Asmodeus and I would just like to point out that I am way more good-looking, comical and wittier than Lucifer, contrary to his beliefs. You should say a little more about Adam, he is a great guy and Lucifer does not give him enough credit. Although I have to admit, your introduction for Lucifer was really spot on. The tour of the Gehenna's vineyard became much more interesting once I took over. My deep expertise replaced Lucifer's awful puns, which I have heard thousands of times mind you. You should tell everyone the story of how Lucifer and I became such great buddies. Hell is not a cake walk for everyone you know, I had to work for this position. I think the readers would benefit from getting more details about the scenery of the vineyard. All thoughts aside, thanks for having me in your story! It was a pleasure.
ReplyDeleteJacob, I hope you realize that you're a very talented writer! I love how we get to learn so much about Lucifer's persona, as someone who is charismatic and entertaining. This story has me dying to see what the actual vineyard tour looks like. I think it would be really interesting if you included some details in the story where Lucifer talks about wine or the vineyard for a second so we get a feel for why he chose to settle for a vineyard as a his business. I think it would be funny to maybe see who his biggest buyers are!
ReplyDelete