Hi JT! I think your home banner goes great with the name! I would however move the image info to the bottom of the page and center the other words on the top. I think that will bring more attention to that and not the image info. I loved how much humor and whit was in your story! It made it much more fun to read! Especially making someone who we are told to hate be funny. I think this has great potential for a very funny/witty story line. I am not so sure about the random picture under the bibliography. Maybe move locations of the image? I am also not sure that particular image fits with the story? Maybe add a different image such as fire, or a vineyard, or something like that. Then move it to right under the story. Otherwise it seems like an after thought. Great job with the story!
I really liked your Gehenna story. This actually relates to something in my personal life right now, a show called Blue Exorcist that I'm watching. It's an anime about exorcisms, demons, and even has Mephisto Pheles as a character within the show! That's besides the point though. The fact is, I liked your story a lot. One thing I do think would help it out a little bit is more clear notions of what is happening outside of your main character's dialogue. He talks through what is going on as it happens, but I lost track of where the tour group was a few times in the story. I think a little more non-dialogue description could go a long way and help the readers out a bit as they progress through your story! I really enjoyed it though, and hope you keep it up throughout the rest of the semester! See ya!
Hi JT! Reading your story Gehenna's Vineyard actually made me laugh a little. It is written in a really fun way and was so easy to read! I like how you start off by referring to Adam and Eve themes and then get to Noah's Ark. It looks like you are going to have a really fun story book and I'm really excited to keep reading it. It was funny how you changed the forbidden fruit to a grape and how humans actually just wanted to get drunk. I also like how you are having the devil narrate. Sometimes stories with a narrator can be hard to enjoy but I think yours is off to a great start. Really great story, keep it up!
Hi JT! Your story was great at incorporating humor and suspense all at the same time. The way you set up your set is very well done, the pictures who have chosen to use go great with your story. I like how you referred back to old stories and i was able to make the connections. Your use of dialogue gives me a great depiction of what your character is doing at that exact moment, i would maybe suggest adding some more information that isnt dialogue but other than that it is great! You are a great writer and this story is awesome!
Hey there JT! I just want to start off by saying I love stories told in first person. It really helps set the mood and get you into the mind of the character and tell it from a unique perspective. I like the image of the white falcon, it’s very majestic. Overall the story confused me a tiny bit. I think the intro kind of skims through a lot of the detail about the king killing his bird and I wish it was described more. I think it would improve the story to start with the intro about the Gyrfallen people as a whole, but then start the king’s point of view before he kills the bird. Your story is a really cool concept and I’ve never seen anything quite like it, so huge points for originality! The second story has a really fun introduction and I like it a lot. Keep up the good work!
Hi, JT! First off, I really like that you have decided to tell your stories in the first person! Those are my favorites to read as I feel like I am better able to relate to the character and really feel and experience all their emotions as they are throughout the story. I also really like the idea you are going for with this storybook project. However, your story did confuse me just a little bit. I think there is some jumping around in your stories that needs some more explanation as well as some added details, but other than that you seem to be on a great track! I also like the pictures you have chosen to go with your project as I feel like they add a little something to the whole picture of the project. I would recommend maybe changing the background color from a black with white font to something a little softer on the eyes, but that is just my personal opinion! I do agree with other comments that maybe adding some other information and writing in your stories that isn't just dialog would help a lot! Overall, I think you have a really great thing going for your project, and I look forward to reading more from you as this semester goes on!
Hey JT! I'm amazed at your writing style, it works so well and creates phenomenal mental imagery. I was almost expecting King John to recognize King Eric in the first story, it might have added some more intrigue when he learns about the tasks if he had seen Eric standing there when he awoke for the first time in the afterlife and wondered what his purpose was. I also appreciated the Legend of Zelda teaser at the end when he said he was searching for Link. I'm curious how many people noticed that. For your second story, I can hear and feel the enthusiasm Lucifer has in his capacity as a tour guide. I can also imagine at least one person on the tour groaning at this energy, since there's always that one person, no matter what the tour is of. What was the conversation between Lucifer and the demon about? Any hints that might have been able to be dropped might have been a fun little touch. Other than those small, nitpicky things, I absolutely loved both of your stories! Keep up the good work!
Hey there JT! I just dived into your portfolio project and the writing style is impressive. Even at the beginning of your site, you make it sort of like a 'choice' in what story you want to read instead of going in an order. I really like the style of writing you chose to take on, and it was interesting to see the separations you made in dialogue based on if text was bolded, normal, or italicized. What made you think of this tactic instead of the generic "he said, she said" sort of connections? I think your stories are really good and would love a bit more length to them to get more out of your creative eye! I would have loved to see the initial relationship between the bird and the king in "The Destiny of a King" story, as well as how the people know that the chosen one is considered the new king. I can't wait to read more of your posts, so keep up the good work!
Hi JT! I thought you did a really good job with your stories! I think your writing style is very creative, and gives a good image to the mind. I thought Gehenna's Vineyard was really funny. I liked how you used grapes instead (I honestly related to these humans). Maybe add some clarification about what else is happening. I think your dialogue is good, but add some more surrounding that. I really enjoyed Lucifer throughout the story as well. I love when stories use usual villains to tell the story. I think it adds some more perspective to the story. I am excited to read what else you post. I can tell you have a creative mind and all of these stories have great potential.
Hi, JT! I think you have done a wonderful job with your stories so far! I also like the way you have designed your website, but I would like to suggest a few changes to your blog. First off, your link from your website to your blog doesn't go directly to the comment wall, so readers are having to search for the comment wall. Also, you have to click on a link in a tiny dark font to find the comments and where to comment. Maybe you could edit your blog just a little bit to make it easier to navigate? I do think you have a very creative and unique writing style, and I think it is very easy to picture your stories in my head like a movie. Overall, I think you have done a wonderful job and I look forward to reading more from you as this semester goes on!
Hi JT! I really like your writing style in "Gehenna's Vineyard"; it starts off very entertaining and I was excited to continue reading! I thought it was very clever that you used a grape as the forbidden fruit and your explanation worked very well. I also really liked that you thought about small details like the effect the heat would have on the fermentation and included explanations like the cellar powered by angel grace for them. Your author's note really helped me understand the story name and the connection between Noah and Satan... I though I knew the story of Noah but you are definitely right when you said the detail about the water being sent through Hell is often overlooked. It took me a little while into "The Destiney of a King" to understand what had happened between the king and the falcon, but I liked that I learned that the falcon was trying to stop the king from harming himself and the king got annoyed. I was curious about why the king was dying of thirst- did he get lost in the woods while hunting? I would have appreciated a clearer explanation!
Hi JT! I read your story, Gehenna’s Vineyard. I enjoyed it very much. I found that Lucifer as a tour guide was quite entertaining. You wrote his character very well. While I read this story, it seemed to me that Lucifer had a constant hint of humor or playfulness in everything he said, which I thought was fitting for him. I thought this kind of story overall was unique and fun to read. This story was also interesting to me since I was not as familiar with some of the details about Noah and his ark. It is cool that you were able to take that information and make it into this unique story. It is also nice that the reader does not have to know all of those other details to enjoy this story, since Lucifer is taking the focus off of Noah. I think this story was written very well and I hope to read more from you in the future!
Hi JT! On your homepage I like how you have little snippets of each story. the Destiny of A King, I like the symbolism of the white falcon. I was shocked that King James was so quick to kill his hunting companion. Gehenna's Vineyard, for the darkness of being in the underworld I like the chipperness of Lucifer. while reading this I did see it as a comedy, as you was hoping to in your author's note.
I am feeling an overall theme of death in your portfolio. Is this correct? The death of the king in the Destiney of A King, and then in the underworld with Gehenna's Vineyard. I would hope to see this continuing dark theme throughout the rest of your portfolio.
Secretly, some small part of me believes that every tour guide I've ever accompanied is in fact Satan, and the tour you've described was ridiculously funny for me to read in no small part because of this.
I !!!LOVE!!! the idea that God forbid alcohol, not apples. This is one of the best concepts I've encountered yet in this class, and massive kudos for arranging these ideas together.
The informal tour guide narrative gives a great historical account of what really could have happened, and using Lucifer as the voice for Noah's shame was genius. I am dying to know who buys the wine brewed in hell... that's gotta come at a high price. Do humans consume this? Or... something else?!
Finally, it would be enlightening for Lucifer to elaborate on what eventually happened with Noah. Did he redeem himself in God's eyes? Was Lucifer eager to bring Noah "downstairs" for more help with the brewery? And the last thing: when are these events occurring?
I loved this story. Really, really good job! Thank you!
Hi JT! I read your story Gehenna's Vineyard and I truly enjoyed the manner in which you told the story. It differed from the general tone of the other works presented in your portfolio. I think it was a great choice putting it as your last piece because it helps explain the diversity in your writing abilities. Not only was the story clever, but it was also clear. It could have gotten quite confusing, which is something I worried about as I began. However, you did a very nice job communicating your story. Also, this may be small, but nice job on using multiple pictures throughout each of your stories. This is something I don't do myself, and I have not noticed many others doing it either.
I just got done reading your Beggars Cannot Be Choosers story. This was such an interesting read because you really did an excellent job building up the story towards the end. And then you ended with To Be Continued which did such a good job of really leaving the reader wanting more.
I think a really compelling addition to your story would be if you wrot more about how the beggar was feeling in the midst of his journey. It talks about how as he wrote it got colder and the weather changed but it would be cool to see an inner dialogue of what he was thinking in the midst of all of this. Is he getting nervous? What does he feel in each step?
You did a really excellent job writing this story. I found it really creative. I never got the chance to read the original but I do think, based off of your author's note that the story was an interesting interpretation.
Hi JT! This is the first time I have come across your Project/website. I like how on your homepage you gave your thought and reasoning behind the theme of your project and how you gave a small introduction for each story you did. That helped me because I had never read the original story before. I just read your Beggar's Can't Be Choosers story and really liked it! I thought it was interesting from the get-go and I had sympathy for the beggar in the beginning of your story.
I loved how you ended your story with a cliff hanger! It made me want to continue reading on to the next story. Great job overall!
Hey JT! I am glad I stumbled upon your project. Right off the bat I noticed you had little explanations on what each story was about and that was great. It allowed the reader to think about what the theme of the story was before reading it. I was also happy to see that you had a story from Noah. My project is all about Noah's Ark but in a modern since. So it was nice to see another version of the story of Noah being told. I actually remember reading your story when you published it on your blog. It definitely made a lasting impression on me and that is always great!
Hello, JT! I like how you give a little introduction to each of your stories on your home page. I enjoyed reading St. Kavin's Blessings. It was interesting to see the changes that you made from the original stories. I thought it was unique that you merged two stories, I do not think that I have come across that before. I am glad you did because I was sad about Gellert's death, so it was nice to read how you brought (Caegmgen) back. One thing that I would have liked to read more about is the events that took place while the Prince was off hunting, and also why he left his infant alone. In your second story, The Destiny of a King, I appreciate how you give a narrative to set the reader up with important information for the story. I like how you added to the original story, taking the reader to a new spiritual world. It is a cool idea to have the kings' spirits pass into the white falcon. You do a great job explaining all of that detail. I love the tone you set for Gehenna's Vineyard. I also thought it was a clever idea to change the forbidden fruit to a grape. One thing that I was confused about is how Lucifer keeps referring to is dad. However, I think you did a great job capturing Lucifer's deceptive/mischievous personality!
Hi JT! I read your “St. Kavin's Blessings” story. I thought the story was truly amazing and creative! I like the unique lifestyle that Kavin chose to live in the countryside. I thought St. Kavin’s miracles kind of resembled those of Biblical characters. Wow. As I read more, St. Kavin really resembled the story of Jesus Christ. The fact that people came to him to ask for forgiveness is very similar to the case of Jesus Christ. This vivid description of the scene really caught my attention: “Caemgen had dried blood all over his fur and some still clang to the fringes of his mouth and dropped to the floor with every other pant.” Wow. This is really intense, graphic almost like a horror movie. I like how the Prince had so much faith in St. Kavin: he knew he had only one choice: to seek out St. Kavin and pray that he could bring Caemgen to life. The miracle happened in the end thanks to that faith in St. Kavin. Thank you for a great story!
Hi JT! I think you did a fantastic job with this story. You put a lot of detail in the story and it made for a really great read! As a dog lover myself, I hated to see that the owner thought that his loyal companion would kill his infant son, and I was sad to see that he killed the dog. I’m glad you turned the story around to a good ending because the original story is not as good (since it is so sad). I thought the vernacular you used for the story is great. It really helps with the overall theme and plot. I liked the words you added that were spoken by St. Kavin. It says that yes, the prince made a mistake, but there is a lesson to be learned. Also, all of the photos that you used in your portfolio are excellent. They really contribute to the overall theme of the portfolio and they are really great nature pictures. Great job!
Hi JT, I just read your St. Kavin's Blessings story! I think you started out your story strong and gave your main character Kavin a good background. His lifestyle was so well described and so interesting to me! I really also enjoyed the style of writing you chose to write this story. It was written so well and eloquently. You described the part about the prince and his dog so descriptive. It was written in a way that made imagining the scene in my head easy. The story took a twist and turn when it made it seem like the dog had done something horrific to the prince's son. This story got so sad so fast. It really shows how important it can be to calm down before you make any decisions out of anger.
Hi JT! I read your “The Destiny of A King” story. I thought it was truly creative and amazing! I like the very beginning of the story: “In a kingdom in the snowy mountains there lives a strong, good-hearted group of people named the Gyrfallen who have always had very wise and young Kings.” I could literally imagine the place and the characters in my head. It’s such a vivid detail. Wow.. It sounds like somewhat semi-democracy since people choose the king. Although I think it’s not completely democracy since they choose a king, not a mere representative. Gyr sounds really cool and competent with all those abilities. Obiviously I think the falcon tried to protect the king from getting sick: his cup would become nearly full and then the falcon would swoop by and knock it away! Oh no.. “Finally, as the King was delirious with thirst, he lost his patience and seized the falcon. He dashed it against the rocks in anger and turned his attention back towards the water and drank from the first cupful eagerly.” This king isn’t very wise as his predecessors. I like how wise teacher the falcon is. Thank you for a great story!
Hey JT! I love traveling and travel themed things so your homepage was so fun. Also, I am a sucker for dr. suess and anything on a map so your comment wall picture was a win as well. My favorite story was The Destiny of a King. I really like the idea that we all come back as animals or help guide our families after we are gone too so I really enjoyed you weaving that into your story. It was a happy ending that even after the king dies, he too will get to be a white falcon and help guide the next King on to greatness. The spiritual element was a really smart idea and really added to the story naturally. I had not read the original story so I did not know until the author’s note what you had changed and you did a great job integrating it smoothly.
Hey JT. The title of your blog really got my attention and made me want to see what you meant by choose your road. Out of the three stories my favorite one was St. Kavin's Blessings. It was really sad to see that the prince killed his dog even before knowing if the child was okay. I felt that since he killed the dog before knowing for sure what happened that the child would be alive and it would be a mistake. It was nice of the St. Kavin to grant the princes wish of getting his dog back. The prince wasted no time in trying to get his dog back so it made sense on why the wish was granted. Also in the beginning when you talk about Kavin and say how when he first started his monastery people were obsessed with him but then later on they just stopped really paying attention to him was really sad because he only started the monastery because people were interested.
Hi JT!
ReplyDeleteI think your home banner goes great with the name! I would however move the image info to the bottom of the page and center the other words on the top. I think that will bring more attention to that and not the image info.
I loved how much humor and whit was in your story! It made it much more fun to read! Especially making someone who we are told to hate be funny.
I think this has great potential for a very funny/witty story line.
I am not so sure about the random picture under the bibliography. Maybe move locations of the image? I am also not sure that particular image fits with the story? Maybe add a different image such as fire, or a vineyard, or something like that. Then move it to right under the story. Otherwise it seems like an after thought.
Great job with the story!
Hey JT!
ReplyDeleteI really liked your Gehenna story. This actually relates to something in my personal life right now, a show called Blue Exorcist that I'm watching. It's an anime about exorcisms, demons, and even has Mephisto Pheles as a character within the show! That's besides the point though. The fact is, I liked your story a lot. One thing I do think would help it out a little bit is more clear notions of what is happening outside of your main character's dialogue. He talks through what is going on as it happens, but I lost track of where the tour group was a few times in the story. I think a little more non-dialogue description could go a long way and help the readers out a bit as they progress through your story! I really enjoyed it though, and hope you keep it up throughout the rest of the semester! See ya!
Hi JT! Reading your story Gehenna's Vineyard actually made me laugh a little. It is written in a really fun way and was so easy to read! I like how you start off by referring to Adam and Eve themes and then get to Noah's Ark. It looks like you are going to have a really fun story book and I'm really excited to keep reading it. It was funny how you changed the forbidden fruit to a grape and how humans actually just wanted to get drunk. I also like how you are having the devil narrate. Sometimes stories with a narrator can be hard to enjoy but I think yours is off to a great start. Really great story, keep it up!
ReplyDeleteHi JT! Your story was great at incorporating humor and suspense all at the same time. The way you set up your set is very well done, the pictures who have chosen to use go great with your story. I like how you referred back to old stories and i was able to make the connections. Your use of dialogue gives me a great depiction of what your character is doing at that exact moment, i would maybe suggest adding some more information that isnt dialogue but other than that it is great! You are a great writer and this story is awesome!
ReplyDeleteHey there JT! I just want to start off by saying I love stories told in first person. It really helps set the mood and get you into the mind of the character and tell it from a unique perspective. I like the image of the white falcon, it’s very majestic. Overall the story confused me a tiny bit. I think the intro kind of skims through a lot of the detail about the king killing his bird and I wish it was described more. I think it would improve the story to start with the intro about the Gyrfallen people as a whole, but then start the king’s point of view before he kills the bird. Your story is a really cool concept and I’ve never seen anything quite like it, so huge points for originality! The second story has a really fun introduction and I like it a lot. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi, JT! First off, I really like that you have decided to tell your stories in the first person! Those are my favorites to read as I feel like I am better able to relate to the character and really feel and experience all their emotions as they are throughout the story. I also really like the idea you are going for with this storybook project. However, your story did confuse me just a little bit. I think there is some jumping around in your stories that needs some more explanation as well as some added details, but other than that you seem to be on a great track! I also like the pictures you have chosen to go with your project as I feel like they add a little something to the whole picture of the project. I would recommend maybe changing the background color from a black with white font to something a little softer on the eyes, but that is just my personal opinion! I do agree with other comments that maybe adding some other information and writing in your stories that isn't just dialog would help a lot! Overall, I think you have a really great thing going for your project, and I look forward to reading more from you as this semester goes on!
ReplyDeleteHey JT! I'm amazed at your writing style, it works so well and creates phenomenal mental imagery. I was almost expecting King John to recognize King Eric in the first story, it might have added some more intrigue when he learns about the tasks if he had seen Eric standing there when he awoke for the first time in the afterlife and wondered what his purpose was. I also appreciated the Legend of Zelda teaser at the end when he said he was searching for Link. I'm curious how many people noticed that. For your second story, I can hear and feel the enthusiasm Lucifer has in his capacity as a tour guide. I can also imagine at least one person on the tour groaning at this energy, since there's always that one person, no matter what the tour is of. What was the conversation between Lucifer and the demon about? Any hints that might have been able to be dropped might have been a fun little touch. Other than those small, nitpicky things, I absolutely loved both of your stories! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey there JT! I just dived into your portfolio project and the writing style is impressive. Even at the beginning of your site, you make it sort of like a 'choice' in what story you want to read instead of going in an order. I really like the style of writing you chose to take on, and it was interesting to see the separations you made in dialogue based on if text was bolded, normal, or italicized. What made you think of this tactic instead of the generic "he said, she said" sort of connections? I think your stories are really good and would love a bit more length to them to get more out of your creative eye! I would have loved to see the initial relationship between the bird and the king in "The Destiny of a King" story, as well as how the people know that the chosen one is considered the new king. I can't wait to read more of your posts, so keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi JT! I thought you did a really good job with your stories! I think your writing style is very creative, and gives a good image to the mind. I thought Gehenna's Vineyard was really funny. I liked how you used grapes instead (I honestly related to these humans). Maybe add some clarification about what else is happening. I think your dialogue is good, but add some more surrounding that. I really enjoyed Lucifer throughout the story as well. I love when stories use usual villains to tell the story. I think it adds some more perspective to the story. I am excited to read what else you post. I can tell you have a creative mind and all of these stories have great potential.
ReplyDeleteHi, JT! I think you have done a wonderful job with your stories so far! I also like the way you have designed your website, but I would like to suggest a few changes to your blog. First off, your link from your website to your blog doesn't go directly to the comment wall, so readers are having to search for the comment wall. Also, you have to click on a link in a tiny dark font to find the comments and where to comment. Maybe you could edit your blog just a little bit to make it easier to navigate? I do think you have a very creative and unique writing style, and I think it is very easy to picture your stories in my head like a movie. Overall, I think you have done a wonderful job and I look forward to reading more from you as this semester goes on!
ReplyDeleteHi JT! I really like your writing style in "Gehenna's Vineyard"; it starts off very entertaining and I was excited to continue reading! I thought it was very clever that you used a grape as the forbidden fruit and your explanation worked very well. I also really liked that you thought about small details like the effect the heat would have on the fermentation and included explanations like the cellar powered by angel grace for them. Your author's note really helped me understand the story name and the connection between Noah and Satan... I though I knew the story of Noah but you are definitely right when you said the detail about the water being sent through Hell is often overlooked. It took me a little while into "The Destiney of a King" to understand what had happened between the king and the falcon, but I liked that I learned that the falcon was trying to stop the king from harming himself and the king got annoyed. I was curious about why the king was dying of thirst- did he get lost in the woods while hunting? I would have appreciated a clearer explanation!
ReplyDeleteHi JT! I read your story, Gehenna’s Vineyard. I enjoyed it very much. I found that Lucifer as a tour guide was quite entertaining. You wrote his character very well. While I read this story, it seemed to me that Lucifer had a constant hint of humor or playfulness in everything he said, which I thought was fitting for him. I thought this kind of story overall was unique and fun to read. This story was also interesting to me since I was not as familiar with some of the details about Noah and his ark. It is cool that you were able to take that information and make it into this unique story. It is also nice that the reader does not have to know all of those other details to enjoy this story, since Lucifer is taking the focus off of Noah. I think this story was written very well and I hope to read more from you in the future!
ReplyDeleteHi JT!
ReplyDeleteOn your homepage I like how you have little snippets of each story.
the Destiny of A King, I like the symbolism of the white falcon. I was shocked that King James was so quick to kill his hunting companion.
Gehenna's Vineyard, for the darkness of being in the underworld I like the chipperness of Lucifer. while reading this I did see it as a comedy, as you was hoping to in your author's note.
I am feeling an overall theme of death in your portfolio. Is this correct? The death of the king in the Destiney of A King, and then in the underworld with Gehenna's Vineyard. I would hope to see this continuing dark theme throughout the rest of your portfolio.
Hi JT!
ReplyDeleteSecretly, some small part of me believes that every tour guide I've ever accompanied is in fact Satan, and the tour you've described was ridiculously funny for me to read in no small part because of this.
I !!!LOVE!!! the idea that God forbid alcohol, not apples. This is one of the best concepts I've encountered yet in this class, and massive kudos for arranging these ideas together.
The informal tour guide narrative gives a great historical account of what really could have happened, and using Lucifer as the voice for Noah's shame was genius. I am dying to know who buys the wine brewed in hell... that's gotta come at a high price. Do humans consume this? Or... something else?!
Finally, it would be enlightening for Lucifer to elaborate on what eventually happened with Noah. Did he redeem himself in God's eyes? Was Lucifer eager to bring Noah "downstairs" for more help with the brewery? And the last thing: when are these events occurring?
I loved this story. Really, really good job! Thank you!
Hi JT! I read your story Gehenna's Vineyard and I truly enjoyed the manner in which you told the story. It differed from the general tone of the other works presented in your portfolio. I think it was a great choice putting it as your last piece because it helps explain the diversity in your writing abilities. Not only was the story clever, but it was also clear. It could have gotten quite confusing, which is something I worried about as I began. However, you did a very nice job communicating your story. Also, this may be small, but nice job on using multiple pictures throughout each of your stories. This is something I don't do myself, and I have not noticed many others doing it either.
ReplyDeleteHi JT!
ReplyDeleteI just got done reading your Beggars Cannot Be Choosers story. This was such an interesting read because you really did an excellent job building up the story towards the end. And then you ended with To Be Continued which did such a good job of really leaving the reader wanting more.
I think a really compelling addition to your story would be if you wrot more about how the beggar was feeling in the midst of his journey. It talks about how as he wrote it got colder and the weather changed but it would be cool to see an inner dialogue of what he was thinking in the midst of all of this. Is he getting nervous? What does he feel in each step?
You did a really excellent job writing this story. I found it really creative. I never got the chance to read the original but I do think, based off of your author's note that the story was an interesting interpretation.
Hi JT!
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time I have come across your Project/website. I like how on your homepage you gave your thought and reasoning behind the theme of your project and how you gave a small introduction for each story you did. That helped me because I had never read the original story before. I just read your Beggar's Can't Be Choosers story and really liked it! I thought it was interesting from the get-go and I had sympathy for the beggar in the beginning of your story.
I loved how you ended your story with a cliff hanger! It made me want to continue reading on to the next story. Great job overall!
Hey JT! I am glad I stumbled upon your project. Right off the bat I noticed you had little explanations on what each story was about and that was great. It allowed the reader to think about what the theme of the story was before reading it. I was also happy to see that you had a story from Noah. My project is all about Noah's Ark but in a modern since. So it was nice to see another version of the story of Noah being told. I actually remember reading your story when you published it on your blog. It definitely made a lasting impression on me and that is always great!
ReplyDeleteHello, JT! I like how you give a little introduction to each of your stories on your home page. I enjoyed reading St. Kavin's Blessings. It was interesting to see the changes that you made from the original stories. I thought it was unique that you merged two stories, I do not think that I have come across that before. I am glad you did because I was sad about Gellert's death, so it was nice to read how you brought (Caegmgen) back. One thing that I would have liked to read more about is the events that took place while the Prince was off hunting, and also why he left his infant alone. In your second story, The Destiny of a King, I appreciate how you give a narrative to set the reader up with important information for the story. I like how you added to the original story, taking the reader to a new spiritual world. It is a cool idea to have the kings' spirits pass into the white falcon. You do a great job explaining all of that detail. I love the tone you set for Gehenna's Vineyard. I also thought it was a clever idea to change the forbidden fruit to a grape. One thing that I was confused about is how Lucifer keeps referring to is dad. However, I think you did a great job capturing Lucifer's deceptive/mischievous personality!
ReplyDeleteHi JT! I read your “St. Kavin's Blessings” story. I thought the story was truly amazing and creative! I like the unique lifestyle that Kavin chose to live in the countryside. I thought St. Kavin’s miracles kind of resembled those of Biblical characters. Wow. As I read more, St. Kavin really resembled the story of Jesus Christ. The fact that people came to him to ask for forgiveness is very similar to the case of Jesus Christ. This vivid description of the scene really caught my attention: “Caemgen had dried blood all over his fur and some still clang to the fringes of his mouth and dropped to the floor with every other pant.” Wow. This is really intense, graphic almost like a horror movie. I like how the Prince had so much faith in St. Kavin: he knew he had only one choice: to seek out St. Kavin and pray that he could bring Caemgen to life. The miracle happened in the end thanks to that faith in St. Kavin. Thank you for a great story!
ReplyDeleteHi JT! I think you did a fantastic job with this story. You put a lot of detail in the story and it made for a really great read! As a dog lover myself, I hated to see that the owner thought that his loyal companion would kill his infant son, and I was sad to see that he killed the dog. I’m glad you turned the story around to a good ending because the original story is not as good (since it is so sad). I thought the vernacular you used for the story is great. It really helps with the overall theme and plot. I liked the words you added that were spoken by St. Kavin. It says that yes, the prince made a mistake, but there is a lesson to be learned. Also, all of the photos that you used in your portfolio are excellent. They really contribute to the overall theme of the portfolio and they are really great nature pictures. Great job!
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ReplyDeleteI just read your St. Kavin's Blessings story! I think you started out your story strong and gave your main character Kavin a good background. His lifestyle was so well described and so interesting to me! I really also enjoyed the style of writing you chose to write this story. It was written so well and eloquently. You described the part about the prince and his dog so descriptive. It was written in a way that made imagining the scene in my head easy. The story took a twist and turn when it made it seem like the dog had done something horrific to the prince's son. This story got so sad so fast. It really shows how important it can be to calm down before you make any decisions out of anger.
Hi JT! I read your “The Destiny of A King” story. I thought it was truly creative and amazing! I like the very beginning of the story: “In a kingdom in the snowy mountains there lives a strong, good-hearted group of people named the Gyrfallen who have always had very wise and young Kings.” I could literally imagine the place and the characters in my head. It’s such a vivid detail. Wow.. It sounds like somewhat semi-democracy since people choose the king. Although I think it’s not completely democracy since they choose a king, not a mere representative. Gyr sounds really cool and competent with all those abilities. Obiviously I think the falcon tried to protect the king from getting sick: his cup would become nearly full and then the falcon would swoop by and knock it away! Oh no.. “Finally, as the King was delirious with thirst, he lost his patience and seized the falcon. He dashed it against the rocks in anger and turned his attention back towards the water and drank from the first cupful eagerly.” This king isn’t very wise as his predecessors. I like how wise teacher the falcon is. Thank you for a great story!
ReplyDeleteHey JT!
ReplyDeleteI love traveling and travel themed things so your homepage was so fun. Also, I am a sucker for dr. suess and anything on a map so your comment wall picture was a win as well. My favorite story was The Destiny of a King. I really like the idea that we all come back as animals or help guide our families after we are gone too so I really enjoyed you weaving that into your story. It was a happy ending that even after the king dies, he too will get to be a white falcon and help guide the next King on to greatness. The spiritual element was a really smart idea and really added to the story naturally. I had not read the original story so I did not know until the author’s note what you had changed and you did a great job integrating it smoothly.
Hey JT. The title of your blog really got my attention and made me want to see what you meant by choose your road. Out of the three stories my favorite one was St. Kavin's Blessings. It was really sad to see that the prince killed his dog even before knowing if the child was okay. I felt that since he killed the dog before knowing for sure what happened that the child would be alive and it would be a mistake. It was nice of the St. Kavin to grant the princes wish of getting his dog back. The prince wasted no time in trying to get his dog back so it made sense on why the wish was granted. Also in the beginning when you talk about Kavin and say how when he first started his monastery people were obsessed with him but then later on they just stopped really paying attention to him was really sad because he only started the monastery because people were interested.
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